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Oh hello. I am Ava and I am 17. Strawberries and Cream and novels are my favorite things.


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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Thursday, August 28, 2008

i dont know who to complain to. so i shall complain to my blog(which is like the whole internet)
k nvm.

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on msn,
xy went:"can faster? my dad not happy with me using so "long""
v.c: " cant u just tell him its PW?"

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(in the background)
stupit.dad hollers: "can u shut tt computer!"

xy:"they just came online and i need to discuss project work."

s.d:" i dont care. tell them to discuss tmr. u better shut that com down NOW"

xy: " its they come online late okay?"

s.d" " dont always they they they.. why u want to do project as such an hour?"

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meanwhile,
the phone rang and..

Jialiu went: " hello xiaoyun ah?"

xy: " yea? "

(in the background)
mum: "i tot u doing pw? still can talk on the phone ah?"

xy:" jia liu, i cant talk to u now. im doing pw online."

jl: ok.

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(on msn)
xy: when do u need this thing? can dun be today?

fiona:NO!
vidhya c: NO!

xy: ok.

V.c: BY TODAY

V.c: like within 2hrs

fiona: thats why we meeting at such a horrible time

V.C: coz i need to send kavi

V.c: like tmr morning


V.c: so she can go to school to print out

V.c: and go back home and mark ??

Xy: ... i din know you need it today

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(in the background)
dad: U better hurry up!

xy: they need me to do this by tonight!
(authors's note: realise i started shouting too?)

dad: i dont care they want it today, u jolly well shut the computer!

xy: but i need to finish this!

dad: slp in the afternoon and do this at night.. what kind of habit is this?

xy: i was having a headache in the afternoon.

dad: thats because u are always sleepinglate. like now!

xy: u think i wan to do this at such an hour( and i havent make my tcher's day card yet)!

dad: then off the com~!

xy: why must u ALWAYS make me feel so bad while im doing my work?

dad:I dont care what you are doing. Just off the computer right now.

xy: its not as if i wan to meet to so late. its not like i asked for PW to exist?

dad: If you dont want to do then dont do. Just shut the com.

mum: or if these ppl always meet so late then dont do with them..

xy: this is ALEVELS!!

dad: this is not the time for u to shout at us. u better stop being so rowdy and off the computer now!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

the whole converstaion was held in chinese and being a very lousy translater, the english version sounds kind of weird. the orginal one was more hurting and irritating.

i hate them.
i hate it when they blame me for everything.
i hate it when they refuse to listne to what im saying.
i hate it when they try to convince me im always at fault.
its not just PW. everything.
they, or rather he, always find reasons to turn around the table, and put me at fault.

if i used the computer at ard 10,
they blame me for using so late and hence limit my uasge to ard 10 mins.
10 mins, they think im still a primary sch kid? i dont go online to just play pinballs!

if i asked for extra time, they will blame me for using at such an hour.
if i said it was because they didnt let me use due to george's tuition in the computer room, they say its my fault for not asking them to on the com right after his tuition.

then they will blame it on my phone calls, saying that i was using the phone for too long instead of doing my work or using the com earlier.

if i said its not nice to always hang up on ppl, they will say its my problem.

i dont understand why must they restrict me from using the com.
why must they act like im a kindergardener...

yet on other occassions, such as if i were to stay out late at night, they nvr/seldom call me, they seldom offer to fetch me home. they rather watch the tv then fetch me from the mrt to my house.
ok that i dont really care.

but, they stop listening to what im saying..
they are too busy to understand me.
they cant recognise that they have no clue how im feeling or maybe they just dont care.

sometimes
it makes me feel helpless against their blaming
it makes me feel hollow

it makes me want to cry
but i dont know who to cry to.
because they are the closest to me afterall.